Friday, September 24, 2004

Spam gets personal!

Spam gets personal

Thats right! Here at Spam International (reg BahamasIVT), we are sick to death of recieveing what we send out (typo's inentvertinantly send the spam back to our very own inbox). So only now do we realise that spam isnt popular.

This is why we now customise tailormade penis enlargements to fit the subject line. So now, we wont just ask you to get a Nigerian Bank Account for no good reason, we relate it to the subject that your blog talks about the most.

And apparently, your subject is &ámp;

What a fascinating subject it is talking about the pros & cons of &åmp; which is the talking point of your country! We in the Bamahas are certainly jealous our your level of debate!
We here at Spam International can see both sides of the picture. We have a new forum, please come & debate in democratic style with our team. Email us at yourtopicmatters@forum.spamint.net.bhms

While you are getting worked up about & and its effect on the worlds things, thought about having a bigger penis in Nigeria?

It will make you more attactive, even to those who disagree with your aggrevated position on ……………… the nutritional benefits of omega-8 rich tahini.

You deserve money! We deserve money!
Thank you

Director General
Spam for Gaia
18 Smith St
Bahamas 3001

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Our friends overseas like what we do

Hi fellow tahinists

i am glad to say that this blog is definately hitting some PRETTY big goals. One through the posts, and another drop kicked as a fine mark.

Yes, this blog has gone global, and we have been getting all kinds of great emails and congratulatory posts from all manner of people

Heres one from the happygodblog people out in Finland:
"youre site is pretty cool. Keep it up"
You cant get much better than that, so using our phone cards I got from this bloke who runs a 7-11 in Blacktown, I called up the spokesperson from the happygodblog people, and I recieved some fascinating insights into the characters that run the happygodblog website. Here are our details:
ERIC VIGO, wholesale purchasing manager for the stationary Dept of eatingtahiniontrains.blogspot.com
SAMII KLINKAS, research and product development facilitator, happygodblog.blogland.net

This was our conversation
EV: "Hi, thanks for stopping by and taking this phone call, Samii"
SK: "………………………………………………thank you Eric its great to be here"
EV: "Hows the weather in Finland, oh by the way Samii, which part of Finland are you talking to us from?"
SK: "………………………………………………Helsinki, our capital"
EV: "Fantastic, the weather not too cold and maybe not too hot for summer, just right eh I hope"
SK: "………………………………………………Yes, we have had some wonderful days, Helsinki is beautiful during these summer months"
EV: "It makes me just want to pack up & leave, its very cold down here on Macquarie Island. Oh, in case you dont know where I am talking about, were just 2684km north of Mawson in Antartica. Yeah, I wouldn't mind a day when I'm not wearing 4 parkas & 3 t-shirts!"
SK: " ……………………………………………… *** …………… **** ……………"
EV: "Are you there Samii?"
SK: "………………………………………………yes I am, I just didn't know what to say. It can get very cold here too, but maybe not as cold as you are feeling"
EV: "Well, Samii, blogging has become a worldwide movement, what with leading blog sites like emmasdiary.blogtime.com or dogsdayin.mblog.net"
SK: "………………………………………………I have not heard of these. Can you tell me who they are again?"
EV: "Dont worry Samii, I will put them up on the website later, and our viewers can access them through the world wide web"
SK: "……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yes right"
EV: "Tell me Samii, how did you come across our blog?"
SK: "………………………………………………To tell you the truth, I was looking through many sites, and yours was one of them"
EV: "Let me point out to you Samii and the listeners, that our cookies section CAN be dismantled if you wished. Back onto our subject, has blogging affected the way ordinary Finlandians see their government, society and the like?"
SK: "………………………………………………First, we do not say Finlandian, we are not Finlandian. We are Soumi. That is our term for who we are. Where did you get that?"
EV: "Ah, I was, well yes, um do Soumi people see their government in a different light due to the power of blogging"
SK: "………………………………………………Yes, well, as Soumi people are proud, but the number of computers in houses is quite low. Those who see the web, often go to blogging sites, but as I see, not many have knowing to use blogs to change their government. I do not know.…………………………………………………………………………………………………"
EV: "I would like to know whether you believe in God. I see no evidence of God in any of your pages, but God is in your title. What happened?"
SK: "………………………………………………No that is just silly name. We nearly chose goathingondrugs, but we decided this was more interesting"
EV: "Samii, have you paid attention to our election?"
SK: "………………………………………………No I did not know of election. In Australia?"
EV: "Yes, for instance, you see that our opposition leader will increase interest rates if he wins power. Do you have similar concerns in Soumi?"
SK: "………………………………………………You can call our country Finland if you wish, I"
EV: "Yes, most certainly I will"
SK: "………………………………………………Interest rates? ………… they are not important here. Is that your big issue?"
EV: "That and that our present prime minister will make us all safe by lowering interest rates and stopping terrorists by pre-emptively using force against neighbouring countries to flush out the terrorists & saving Australian lives. I would say that these 2 issues dominate the thinking time of all fair-minded Australians"
SK: "………………………………………………………………………………………………………ah, in our country that is invasion. 50 years ago or so, countries close to Germany, like ours, would have been called terrorist states, and Hitler would have used that as an excuse to invade Czechoslovakia and Poland and such. I think you will be in trouble with your asian neighbours yes?"
EV: "Now Samii, it is not the same. That was World War Two. OK, now lets move on to interest ra…"
SK: "I am sorry Eric, but I find this conversation is taking too much of my time, I must have breakfast. I must go"
EV: "No, thank you for your time, and I feel all of the staff here at eatingtahiniontrains have felt enriched by your cultural vibe"
SK: "………………………………………………Thank you, I must go. Hallo"

Perhaps you are from a different country other than Australia, and maybe you would like to talk about your favourate icecreams or what your best animal at the zoo is.
This will help us get an insight into the energy of your country, and give us a fascinating look into the way which you are brought up, and contribute to your national economy.

Send your ideas by telex to GXTW4439
or perhaps telegram by A17
We would like to hear from you

Please include all appropriate salutations